Stella

I've named her Stella. Ya know, My inner-bitch! I felt that she deserved a proper identity! It took a while to name her - actually longer than I expected. There are just some names that remind me of people I don't like, names that I would never name a child of mine, etc., so I just assumed it would be easy. Notsomuch! I'm not sure how I came to Stella, but it feels right and I don't know anyone by that name, so I can't associate it with a good or bad person!

So, Stella is simmering today - for now. As far as yesterday, that is a whole different story. I really had my hands full trying to control her! She was about to unleash on a poor unsuspecting soul (more than likely Hubby) with no fault of his own! Work is very stressful right now. We have a huge audit coming up for my department and of course, that's my job....getting all the documentation prepared for it! There are 3 of us that work on this and I know better that the other employees don't necessarily hate ME, but my job! I have to remind myselves of this fact - ALOT!

I'm a bubbly person. I have lots of friends. I am generally in a good mood. Others either love me or hate me....more of the loving, but there are still some that dislike the fact that I can be so freakin' happy, especially in the mornings! I had a guy I worked with once tell me that he just didn't like me at first because he thought there is just no way someone could be that happy that early in the morning....every morning!!! Then after a few weeks, he just realized that it was my personality and he loved me for who I was!

So, being the happy go luck self that I am, I try to carry that over into all aspects of my life. I love to give, help, make you smile, and all that fluffy stuff!! I love to make you feel special and encourage productivity with treats and goodies that I've made! I've tried to embrace my job with this as well. Because of the fact that the others dislike my actual position/department, I've really made an effort to make the task more bearable. I've given out baked goods, treat bags, and when communicating, I try to send warm and fuzzies via email and over the phone. Most of the recipients are welcoming of this approach. They realize that yes, I am infact needing something, or a lot of somethings, but they are more apt to give it (sooner rather than later) when I am just so nice - they can't say no! However, there is always a bad seed. Now, I'm never rude or condescending over the phone or in an email at work. I've always been professional and courteous. Sometimes I'm more direct so to speak in asking for what I need and do leave out the "fluff", but I'm never malicious! Some people are just more sensative to this than others. I've learned that the hard way this week. AND, I've learned that I need to be the bigger person and accept that this might never change. I am still working on this!

So, yesterday, Stella was getting really fired up and starting to boil....but I managed to calm her down to a simmer. She almost came to a hault as of last night. I mean, she's still there, deep down, but just waiting patiently.

Thanks to my girlies! We met for pizza and beer. Lots of beer. It's been a while. I'm trying to limit my intake of adult bevies so I can concentrate on losing some weight, but I can't cold turkey the stuff! I mean, it would feel so neglected if I just stopped partaking! Wouldn't dare let that happen, so for now, I am only indulging occassionally. BUT, I must say, beer, pizza, and your girlies makes everything better....did I mention beer? Just making sure!

So, after hanging out with them (and the beer), I felt so much more relaxed and confident that I was still the happy go lucky girl I usually am. Today is a new day and I have tomorrow off. I am definitely excited about some me time!