2.08.2009

What am I thinking?

Well, a while back, I mentioned that I might be starting another new adventure. School. To become a teacher. I have thought about it a lot over the years and just never was ready to committ. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm ready now. I don't know why now of all times. It seems that every time I consider the possibility, there is something more demanding or time consuming in my life.
For starters, I graduated in 2002 with a Bachelor's degree in something far from teachable! Hospitality and Tourism Management. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVED LOVED LOVED my major, but knew that unless I wanted to work every night, weekend, and holiday, that I wasn't going to be in that field. I settled for something quite mundane and very safe.....a bank teller! NOW, my father wasn't too thrilled with this employment status given that he just forked out 5 years of tuition so I could just settle for a job that didn't require any type of degree! With that said, I loved that job. I felt like an adult. I was married and completely clueless to the real world and how to manage a life with another person to be accountable for. It took a while for me to adjust to the fact that there were TWO of us and that things like blinds and towels took the place of new purses and funky shoes! I mean, really, I was so used to having my own money, my own expenses and doing exactly what I wanted with it, but then learning to share was a challenge, to say the least!
So, that was the first time I thought of going back to school. I mean, why not? Working and starting a life with Hubby were the only responsibilites I had....but I talked myself out of because I just got out of school. I wanted to relish in the real world for a while! What was I thinking?
So, within 7 months of marriage, we bought our first house. I took on a new challenge of Real Estate...working with an agent as an assistant and had a license, with the hope of selling someday. I realized too late that it was not my cup of tea, but I stayed on as the assistant becasue I enjoyed that aspect of the job, but just couldn't see myself as a full time agent!!! NOW, I did do a lot of thinking prior to this....months and months of debating what type of risk this would be for us and took the plunge. I will say that I'm so glad I did it when I did and came to the conclusion that I needed something else partly because of the way the market is now and partly because I would have always wondered. So, that was the next time I thought about getting a teaching license.
In the mean time of all this, I was a substitute teacher.....on call on my off days. I loved it every time I got to go into the schools. I still do....I sub on Fridays if I can! Everyone would ask if I were in school or thinking about it, and everytime my answer was the same, NO. I just loved to sub!
Well, deep down I had thought about it, but just couldn't think of a good time to do it......then I got pregnant and we moved into a new house! Well, wouldn't you know, I thought about it then too. I was leaving the real estate firm after Little Hauss was born and instead of going to school, thought I would do best for our family, and got a full time job in a Real Estate law firm. Things took a dive there and before I got laid off, I left and went to another firm.....all the while thinking about going back to school. I thought that if things were going to be like this and just praying to keep a job (especially in that market), then what did I have to lose? Well, my fear came true and I did get laid off from that place and stayed home for 8 months! I really considered it then....but couldn't justify the cost and taking away precious time with Little Hauss. I felt that God gave me an opportunity to spend that time with him, so I didn't want to let it go.
Well, lo and behold, now, with more changes in our lives, I'm ready to do it!!! Go back to school.....it is a huge committment but Hubby is so supportive. I guess now, even with all the changes we've had and will go through soon, I am ready and dedicated to this goal. I mean, who in their right mind has all this time to take on such a huge responsibility (previous 7 years) and decides to do it when there is more at stake? Oh well, I'm doing it!
Maybe it has something to do with finally doing something for myself for the long run and being fulfilled or maybe its turning 30 this year and wanting to be more stable.....or I'm just a crazy nut job. I think that might be it!!!!
Either way, in a year and a half, I'll have something to show for it!!! I can't wait!!